HOLLYWOOD FUNNIES!

(The Interactive Part of This Incredible Web Site.)

This is your chance to prove how clever/witty/talented you are!

Pick a category.

Look at what we've done.

Come up with your own -- better -- ideas.

e-mail 'em to us.

We'll post 'em. along with your name/e-mail address (unless you don't want that info posted).

Go ahead. Have some fun!

CATEGORY 1

SKEWER A FAMOUS DIRECTOR!

Make up an "off-the-record" quote that could have been!

Examples:

OLIVER STONE:

"Okay, so I wasn't actually there, but I'm sure this is how it happened."

RON HOWARD:

"What baseball cap?"

STEVEN SPIELBERG:

"I could've hired real dinosaurs for what it cost me to do the effects."

WOODY ALLEN:

"I'll probably be dead before this picture gets finished."

JOHN HUGHES:

"There are only thirteen basic plot lines. I should know. I've made 'em all at least eight times."

ROB REINER: (At the Academy Awards):

"I'll have what he's having."

JIM CAMERON:

"My next picture is going to cost 400 million. So what?"

FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA:

"It's art, stupid!"

FRANK OZ:

"I refuse to be just another Hollywood puppet."

INGMAR BERGMAN:

"I make them long on purpose. It's all too magnificent to cut any of it."

ALFRED HITCHCOCK:

"Because black and white is cheaper, and I don't have to use real blood."

MEL BROOKS:

"Phhhhhhhhtt!"

CLINT EASTWOOD:

"Go ahead, rush my dailies."

Now that I've blown my chances of ever working with these great directors (especially the dead ones), it's your turn. E-mail your most creative imaginary quotes today!

CATEGORY 2

ACTORS

What did these well-known actors never-ever say?

ARNOLD SWARZENEGGER:

"I won't be back! I'm retiring...this job is just too physical!"

RONALD REAGAN:

"I should have stuck with acting."

JANE FONDA:

"In retrospect. I think our government was right."

PAMELA ANDERSON LEE:

"I got all my parts strictly on the basis on my acting talent."

CLINT EASTWOOD:

"You just stop that right now, or I'll have to report you."

CATEGORY 3

UN-HEARD LINES IN MOVIES

"Frankly, my dear, I gave at the office."

"Go with the divorce, Luke."

"It's a big building with genitals, but that's not important right now."

"The hills are alive with the sound of goats."

WELL, YOU GET THE IDEA!

E-mail your fun one-liners (two-liners at the most) today!

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